Shed a tear

"I shed a tear today. Silently, I felt it fall. You caught it, shared it, held it, felt it, then suddenly it wasn't so big after all.   "
Tindall, Marge

So this quote really is applicable to me for today, I just couldn't bare it but to just burst into tears. I can tell you I'm a person who can hardly cry except for movies. I have reached the point where so many things have gone wrong. I just can't believe I shed tears in front of my cheer mates without knowing the reason why. It just happened. I felt as if the whole world is against me and nothing is going my way. I felt the whole burden that I always thought I can hold on just came crashing to me and stab a knife into my heart. Usually I'm tough at sucking it up even though I get scolded or anything but it's just not today.

The moment I reached the dressing room to meet up with my cheer mates today, I felt the whole burden, the whole world is going against me. I was just sitting down and looking at them preparing. The second I shut my eyes for a couple of seconds, tears just started flooding down my face. Any psychological reason for me crying all of a sudden? Or it could be all the stress that I'm facing right now during the first month of the year.

To sum it up, the worst type of crying could be the one where you don't have a lot of tears but your body just is just wracked with sob. The instant your stomach drops and your world closes in. Feeling everything fall into place as you had thought it to be all along, but had hoped so dearly to be wrong.
I need to cry, though even if I want to, it becomes harder and harder to. Closing down emotionally hasn’t helped at all. I just wish someone could provide me with some sort of instructions for once, even just for a little while would be fine.